You’ve been thrilled, anxious, sad, excited, overwhelmed with every emotion known to humans. You’re ready, no wait, not yet, are you? Maybe you can relate to these pregnancy symptoms. It is the MOST amazing experience you will go through in life. BUT, are you ready? You can tell yourself you are a million times, but in the moment there is no stopping it, ready or not. Which is why I am filling you in on what they don’t tell you about this process.
I remember lying there on the delivery bed with my midwife asking if I was ready to push, of course I was ready, I was so excited to meet the little human I had been creating for the last 9 months. Why did I ask for a 15 min “nap” just one last time and cry my eyes out the entire time? Was it because I knew I would NEVER EVER get my own independent freedom back? Was I just beyond exhausted from the last 2 day process of induction and 24 hours of labor? I thought I had been ready, I KNEW I was ready but why had I been so unprepared emotionally in the moment? Everyone talks about your physical needs and your personal needs, but what about the needs for what goes on between your 2 ears?
Every step of the process preparing for your new little bundle of joy fills your heart to the brim and most of the time you never take the time to prepare yourself, your mental state for the HUGE change that is about to take place, FOREVER.
1. All moms will tell you to take as much “me time” before baby comes. I am going to tell you to take as much “me time” too as you want and I’m going to tell you why all moms will repetitively say this. Your “me time” will never be the same. Not because you won’t ever get it again, you will eventually but you’ll be too worried about your baby to relax or you will be scared you are going to miss a milestone while you run to grab coffee across the street. I was treated to a massage and it was soooo nice. BUT my mind wouldn’t turn off and the guilt set in that I should be with my son and not getting a massage. I have gone to get a pedicure and about half way through I get a call that Michael was hungry (and I exclusively breastfeed). So now my relaxing pedicure went to a panicky let’s get this done because I have a screaming baby at home. I was out shopping for some clothes because lets face it I wasn’t one of the few lucky ones whose bodies bounce back and get a call with a screaming baby in the background. Shopping was a fail and I rushed home to save the day. These are just a few examples of what your me time will be once those chubby cheeks make their entrance into your life. THIS is the reason we all say for you to take as much me time as you can squeeze in. Not only do you need to get your me time, cherish it! Soak in the moment and don’t take your time for granted.
2. Everyone says they cry for no reason the first few weeks with their newborn. After your precious little miracle makes they’re debut those pregnancy hormones are going to kick into overdrive. You will cry for happiness, you will cry for even more happiness, you will cry for absolutely NO reason what so ever, and then you’ll cry again. Being someone who never really cried I didn’t think I would be one of those girls who would cry over split milk. But i did. Uncontrollably. 😭 Kevin would walk in and I would be bawling my eyes out feeding Michael. And every time you look at them you’ll fall even more in love with their little face and you will cry again. Accept this and when it happens don’t try to hold it back, just let it happen. You will be doing yourself a huge favor with processing what is happening and it is healthy to just let it out. 😭😄😪😭😢
3. Having a baby will bring up many unseen emotions and feelings. Trust me girl, you’re going to get ALL THE FEELS when they are born. Things from your past could come back up, what you thought you took care of could arise out of nowhere and all those suppressed thoughts and feelings will come right back. If you realize this now you are better prepared for if and when this may happen. You’ll think back and say, “oh i remember reading about this on themommypockets” and be ready to tackle those feels.
4. Everyone says you will never sleep again. You will NEVER sleep the same again. Yes it is hard to sleep already your belly is beyond jumbo and you are sore, you have leg spasms, night sweats and all the other beautiful things that come along with that last trimester. But it will be even harder once baby is here. When people would tell me to “enjoy your sleep now” or “get as much sleep as you can, cause once baby is there you’ll never get that sleep again” I wouldn’t really think this would apply to me. I had always been a night owl and could run off of little sleep so I didn’t think I would have any problem adjusting to lack of sleep. HA! ….HAAA!! Sure I could fully function on a few hours of sleep when I was just focusing on myself and didn’t have the responsibility of a newborn child’s life in my hands. This lack of sleep was a whole other ballgame. You finally get this adorable baby fed and put down for the night, then one hour later he is screaming his lungs out. Again you get him fed, cleaned and back to sleep, again another two hours later he is up screaming for you to repeat this process. It is HARD, but so worth it. It wears on you mentally, physically, emotionally and you’re are recovering from labor. You go momma!! Even when I would try to fall asleep after getting him down every little noise or twitch I would jump up to make sure he wasn’t dying (ftm probs.) So remember you are recovering from labor while taking care of a newborn, your hormones are off the charts crazy and you are being exhausted in every way possible, it never stops. GET YOUR SLEEP!
In no way am I trying to scare you. These are some things I didn’t realize WHY people would tell me until I was going through them. If I had known before about these mental challenges I believe it would’ve been much easier to prepare myself and attempt to handle myself accordingly (those hormones are uncontrollable) for what was in store. Every single moment was absolutely Amazing and I fell more in love with him every second of every day. You will go through these wonderful mommy milestones all the while falling completely head over heels for your little miracle. You will cry, smile, laugh, nap (not sleep), and you will love every single second of it! I’ll go over more in a later post about preparing for your DD but for now take these things, evaluate the situation and mentally buckle down for your new identity MOM!