Parenting. Something you NEED to hear

No one tells you how hard it is. How hard it is being a parent.  How much you have to give up.  How much you have to sacrifice. They tell you, but you will never truly know until you become one. You hear the joyful, exciting new things going on with others kids and most people will play down how hard of a morning, or evening,  or month they’ve had because their child refuses to sleep, or had a growth spurt or because their child is a complete crazy person. It all looks so glorious from the outside,  and it is. Every mom makes the unthinkable happen, you morph into this task killing superwoman who gets everything done and stops for a milkshake all while running on one jumbo cup of coffee.

When your baby refuses anyone else but you.  When all day your little one refuses to take a nap and at night will sleep no more than any hour. And these things go on for a week straight.  You didn’t know what exhaustion meant until becoming a parent was your everyday life. Those first 3 months after your little one is born are HARD,  REALLY REALLY HARD. Those first 3 months coming home from the hospital go by in a blink and when you look back up your newborn is 6 months old. Every move they make, every new little gesture or big  poopy diaper they have is the most thrilling thing that could happen to you. I never thought I would ever be excited about poop or have Kevin send me a snap so I could check out my son’s explosive diaper. Parenting,  it is so hard. It is so fun,  it is beyond exhausting, it is the most rewarding thing you will every have the opportunity to be given. Your heart will be filled with more joy, love and fulfillment than you could ever imagine.

The dynamic of your thinking changes forever. From having conversations about what new venue you want to try out next Friday to planning your future and when you want to try out for another baby. You aren’t looking to go out and have a huge social weekend with time for recovery,  your exciting social outing actually does become a dinner to a cool family friendly establishment. Never thought that would be as exhilarating as it has become, HA! And the funnier part about it,  I love it.  I love my family so unbelievably much, I couldn’t imagine life any other way. God sure does have an interesting way of answering prayers, but I thank him every single day for blessing us with Michael.

Balance,  you MUST find your balance. I will press upon you to not look back at what balanced used to be like,  because it is gone,  it will never be that balance again. There is a new weight on the scale and a new balance has to be found. It took me awhile to grasp this. I was constantly looking and waiting for the day Michael would just cooperate with me and what my goals prior to him were. Sounds silly but I am an ambitious individual and it was very hard in the beginning to come to terms with giving up and altering what I thought I would be doing postpartum versus the reality of it. Find balance with your partner.  Find it before you have your baby if it applies. Get a good team routine in place and always check to make sure the other one hasn’t lost their smile. I’ll never forget Michael was losing his mind one night and I was cracking, about to burst into tears because NOTHING was working. It was around 1am or so in the morning and Kevin just starting gut laughing because there wasn’t really anything we could do. So instead of going completely insane and frustrated I followed suit and we laughed for a good amount of time. And guess what, Michael stopped crying with us laughing and Kevin put the smile back on my face.

Enjoy and cherish every single moment you have with them as newborns. Every cry,  every feed, every diaper change enjoy it. These moments go by so quickly you wish you could freeze frame time. As much as you want to stay in the house because it’s easier and you’re exhausted,  get outside. Take baby with you,  fresh air is so good for both of you and it helps them sleep better! Go on baby dates while your LO (little one) is still young and will stay put or sleep through a meal. Trust me it doesn’t last.

Don’t forget in all the chaos,  sleepless nights,  rocking,  singing,  crying,  cuddles and smiles to remember how powerful you are. YOU created this baby,  YOU DID. It took you 9 months of nausea, heartburn,  raging uncontrollable hormones, sacrificing your body, changing your life completely for your miracle baby. At 38 weeks you’ve long forgotten what life was like prior to becoming a mom but you’re so anxious and ready to meet your baby nothing else matters. So soak it up,  know that every milestone,  growth spurt, colicky periods are all temporary. You will get your identity back,  as a mom.  You will get to enjoy some “me time” even though you’ll feel guilty. You will have the strength to hit the gym again or start. You will embrace your new life with happiness after baby blues pass. There is light at the end of the tunnel just keep your focus on the present and enjoy every second with your newborn because once its gone,  its gone forever. Remember, it is so worth it.  And don’t forget to enjoy your mom spit up,  drool stained, poopy, beautiful sparkle!